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She also looked in the hole and she understood what I was watching.In the evening at around 7 pm she came to room. I said ‘‘hi”, she also said “hi”. She asked me ‘do you have girlfriend in your college?”. I said “no”.G: why? No one is beautiful?Me: not like that. I don’t want to be in relationships.G: why? Isn’t that good for you to find your own girl?Me: no. I don’t trust any girls in my college. They will be with me today and after some days they will be someone else. They just want fun. Not a love.G: nowadays it’s common. Have fun with them, what’s wrong?Me: I mean fun; means sex akka.G: why? You don’t like to have to sex? Are you impotent?Me: no. I’m not impotent. I don’t like to have sex with them because they are not safer to be trusted.G: see …don’t lie to me. I can understand your desire. For that you have to be frank with girls. Are you open with girls?Me: no…i rarely speak to girls in my college.G: you are interested in relationships right?Me: yeah butG: don’t worry. I will. After a decade away, I thought I’d go home and see Pa, and my brother Lorne. I was now an accomplished ear, nose and throat specialist?not only the first high school graduate in the family, but the first doctor! I figured that Pa would be more respectful to me, and I would rake him over the coals for his behavior towards me. I’d gone through extensive therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I’d found sweet, tender boyfriends who had treated me like a queen, and was generally popular?but I felt a bit like there was something lacking in my life. I couldn’t figure out what it was.Often, when one of my boyfriends was fucking me, or just eating me out, and I was close to orgasm, I would think about Pa whipping my bare ass, or my tits, and it would excite me in a way that made me terribly uncomfortable. My therapists said I would outgrow it at some point, after I became used to being treated well?and I figured it would just take time.But I went home, in my intimidating business.
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